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日志


6月30日

睡不着

迷糊了一会儿听着bandary的音乐,却终究睡不着,于是起来,起来又不知做什么,心情很不好。
和mx说了一会儿话,想让自己木然些,听着他读英文有些吃力却也很用心。我却无力笑。困却睡不着的感觉很不好。
呵,那白色长裙那个人终究是否还记得?我却无从知道了。不要去想了。我不是一向最冷漠的么?
记得当时看安妮宝贝的一本书,好像有一句话说:心会慢慢变成橡皮。
我看我现在是心慢慢变成水晶,破碎成一地的尖锐,然后狠狠地划在自己身上。如果流血的感觉可以让人不再觉得疼痛,这又何尝不好?
呵,我无法再找回勇气去面对自己。一切都是这样的糊涂,什么都混乱的一笔糊涂账。不想了。睡觉。一定要睡了。
6月27日

微雨

这两天很清闲,却不清静,唉,不知道为什么,为什么会浮躁,为什么会烦恼。反正心情很不好。
而且从来不愿意吵架的我不时和人争吵。虽然到最后都以无果告终,我还是很窝火,很想揪个人打一顿。
今天下雨,下班等了好久依旧在下,于是,走到雨中,雨不大,我慢慢走着,淋着雨,让心情也平静一下
今天把给哥哥的ppt发了过去,本来想做的好一些,可是忽然间没了心情,本来说好要在他生日的时候给他,结果却一拖再拖,只好匆匆收尾,唉,没有一件做的好的事情。该清醒下了
6月26日

书到了

当当的送货速度果真快。昨天定今天就送到了,看着拿本中英文对照的《道德经》,我心虚的很,估计还有一部分得依赖表达直白的英文来看了。《世界通史》彩图版本的,很诱人的样子。后来下班路过书摊的时候,还是忍不住,把拿本觊觎已久的《全球通史》也买了,5555,我这个能花钱的女人。虽然已经和人家砍价了,可是一下子买三本书能读多少我就开始打问号了,唉,可是看到真的很想买啊,那本《全球通史》我已经想了两个月了,已经确定不是一时头脑发热了,而且今天清明也推荐了,这个是最新教材版本的,5555,还是狠心买了,大不了我取消一次活动,算作这笔费用……

晚上拎着昨天送来的The Face Shop的三个小瓶子,三本心爱的书,晃悠悠回来,心情还是很愉悦地。虽然胃一天都有点不很舒服。只是,本来计划自己做饭又放弃了,因为胃不舒服的缘故,在外面随便吃了点东西。

回到家,不知道为什么这么疲惫。爱上说他忙,笑话,我又没让他陪我。不知道为啥,近来总是很浮躁。这样不好,所以应该看看《道德经》。

还有一件烦心事,如果小P也走了,我真就剩下孤零零一个人了。唉,本来还有个可以没事偷着一起乐的人,如果她也走了,我咋办呢?虽然我一直说我适合一个人,但是,不能缺少朋友啊,一直那么多朋友一直在才让我觉得踏实,现在大家逐渐各自忙各自的,唉,我就是想的特别简单,总觉得一切都应该是老样子的,其实一切都在变化的。我自己不也是在变化么?

昨天晚上LS来信息,转发的无措的信息,唉,天哪,真郁闷,不过看来我要请假这件事情是确定的了。我比较郁闷的是公司刚说了要每周一开例会的……要去装灯泡,还真不习惯。

我是一个怕生的人。虽然装的什么都无所谓的样子,实际上小心眼的很,很怕别人说自己不好,很怕显得很弱智的样子。

唉,胃还是有些不舒服。不写了,继续看《道德经》咯

6月19日

surprise on the morning of dragon boat festival

It's dragon boat festival!
Mom is happy today. I know that because Pa called her this morning. Hah, though she complained that Papa didn;t mention anything like missing her all concerned, her complaint was full of happiness. Oh, my dear lovely mom and papa:) Like children who quarraled with each other for a candy and are now good friends again.
Thank God. They still care about each others even if they are now in cold war^_^.
All the best, my dears.
It's not bad to have an unexpected call on the morning of such a nice festival.
To memorize our great poet Quyuan, Id like to quote one poem"
 
九歌(十一)礼魂

成礼兮会鼓,传芭兮代舞。
姱女倡兮容与。
春兰兮秋鞠,长无绝兮终古。

6月18日

幸福

抬眼,北京站里的电子钟正显示0449,刚刚好提早了半个小时。

我是个好人,我坚决地认为我算是个好人。所以我可以为一个new friend改作文到凌晨两点半,收拾一下,洗漱完毕已近三点,设好闹钟,赶紧睡过去,闹钟在4点十分准时响起,我竟然睡着了,哈哈,虽然只是一个小时,已经清醒了不少。于是再次洗漱,急匆匆下楼,打车奔向北京站,亲爱的妈妈就要来啦。心里有些紧张,妈妈一个人出门我还是不放心呐。

清晨的风轻轻地扶过脸庞,清爽许多。还没有这样心急地来接过人。我默数着时间,清晨的站台人并不多,我甚至想练一下搞笑版太极,不过出于外人面前尽量淑女的考虑,我还是忍住了。电子钟上的时间一点点流过,车终于缓缓地驶来,找到之前苹果告诉我的车厢,焦急地在车厢口等待老妈。人群中,忽然发现那熟悉的面容,不过,嗯,老妈啥时候把头发剪成这么短了,显然是我高中时候短发的风格。老妈显然没想到会一下车就见到我,哈哈,我喜欢看她惊喜的表情。被我挽着走了一会儿,老妈忽然说,等等,咱得和一个大姐打个招呼,本来人家说要帮我给你发个消息的呢。我疑惑状,为啥我没看到哩……不过,还是和老妈谢过人家。本来计划好带着老妈先转一圈吃点东西,老妈却执意要回家睡觉,于是,一顿舟车赶回家,老妈倒头便睡,轻轻为她摇着扇,看着亲爱的妈妈安然地睡着,想着要自己一个人跑来找我,老妈是在家里受了多大的委屈呀。可是,我又不能好好在家陪她……我说请假和她出去玩,她又嘴硬说自己一个人肯定照顾好自己,唉,都不好意思说普通话……我可爱的老妈呀。

坐在办公室,还在想着现在老妈会在家里做什么,呵呵,应该是在看小说吧,嘿嘿,响起当年我名字竟然是当时老妈看小说来的灵感,想着昨天孩子般安睡的老妈,不觉微笑,妈妈一直是我很佩服的人,心直口快性格爽朗的老妈,从来不服输,我性格有很大一部分是受了母亲的熏陶吧。除了我自己总是有点点自卑,一样的倔强,也一样的骄傲。记得那时候有人针对老爸,老妈直接揣了把刀跑去让人家给老爸道歉;又在老爸工作遇到难题时帮,帮老爸分析判断,有时候象孩子般天真,有时候却又心思细密。本来这次来找我和老爸老哥生气,可是来了后,带她去买东西,看到一些衬衫啊什么的还是想着老爸穿怎么样怎么样……

嘿嘿,等她要回去的时候,把昨天那条裙子给她买上,吼吼,昨天看了好久,可是不舍得让我花那么多钱又放下了,还找了一堆说服我的理由,呀,想起到时候收到裙子老妈一副欣喜状但还要教训我随便花钱的样子,又忍不住想笑了。老妈在身边的日子,好开心。

6月7日

EMBA program

As the first module of the SASAC-HEC EMBA program just comes to its end, I believe this is a good oppurtunity for me to write something in English (because I worked in the program as translator).

The first paragraph, let me see, will be devoted to the professors from HEC, that is Olivier, Alain Roux and Charles Henri BESSEYRE DES PORTS. Among these three main professors, Olivier and Alain are in charge of the business simulation and Charles takes care of make observation on the group performance from the view point of professor of human resource.

The whole module lasts 4 exciting days mainly on a business simulation named NEGOSIM which is a compund of 'negotiation' and 'simulation'. The participants which are all top executives from big SOEs (State owned enterprises) are devided into 14 groups representing companies in 5 different countries (Germany, Japan, Malaysia, Portugal and the USA). They need to make business decisions trying to get a good result from sales. But because different countries have different costs on raw materials, labor cost and commercial effort, they need cooperation while compete with each other. They may try to issue shares, to borrow loans to financing, to invest on JV or start new nich with  which all aim to get a good result. The result can be judged by their M/B, Leverage, cash flow as well as the share price in my point of view. Although it is only a game, it calls for cautious and considerate thinking on analysing the data and the available information on the market. The module is devided into 6 periods for participants to make their decisions and they can see their results a short time after they make the decision. And see how they are working and see what they should do next. After each period, there will be a class given on their mistakes or lessons in the plenary room. For these whole process, I accompany the professors as translator to help the participants to answer their questions refering to the simulation and the operation of their business. While doing so, I learn those words on business.It's exciting to see that everyday you get new things from the job and get along with different group members. I believe that the participants are not so interested in the class at first. But when compitition comes, they just forget everything and get totally merged in the game. I remember that one group is in dreadful hunger for money to keep survive and Alain suggest them to find an investor  before sign a contract with him. Then Alain and I leave for other groups on a different floor. The whole group take immediate measures to assign all the members to seek for an investor and finally find one. They just run to find Alain and I and even can't wait to sign the contract with Alain even when Alain asks them to find a representative from the group who would invest on them(the other group is on the first floor; this means that they go to the 1st floor to find one, get back to sign the contract with Alain and then go downstairs again to find a representative and back again to Alain to get the signature from the representative).Some even discuss about their case during lunch. I'm really happy to see that they enjoyed this so much and I can do something to help.

It is good to know that you are needed.

I even try to translate something simultaneously in class. It's great and exciting. But I know I need practice and is only a small small potato in this field as I am not professional and so  easily get nervous.

Alain is an excellent professor who encourages me a lot. We usually have a small talk in the break and what he says to me, I believe, will benefits me a lot. Thanks Alain. Take good care and try to lose weight:)

Finally, this tough job finishes and I feel extremely tired after this. Luckily I can get the ajusted holiday and can enjoy 4 days holiday happily at home/ What a wonderful thing!

Now, I think I need to go to sleep to recover.